"Lets get MARRIED!"...But wait, are you ready?!

Its been a while since I stepped out of the country in search of greener pastures.

I stepped out in the hope that my life would transform; that I would live the life I had always dreamt of. In short, I believed that my life would be nothing short of a fairy tale!

I must admit that a lot of things did change. I learnt to be a little more responsible, My living standards sort of improved, I had reached a stage where I did not have to think twice before I indulged in some impulsive shopping.

Oh, and most importantly, I thought I was ready for marriage!

I was back in India for a vacation of sorts. I had changed jobs and so had to exit the country for a quick visa change.

While I was sitting at home and wondering how I could spend some time, I was tasked with the job of searching for a match for my sister. I opened her profile, and started scanning through the various profiles that showed up as "preferred match" or as a result of my search criteria.

Before I knew it, this thing was turning into an addiction. From morning to evening, I would sit on this site and just keep scanning. It came to a point where I wanted to pick up the laptop and smash it right on the floor.

Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to do. This hunt was beyond frustrating. Not one decent profile?!!..

Every time I came across a profile that did not match what I was looking for, I would promptly select the "Ignore" option and move on. Not before long, almost every profile that I checked, had either already been "ignored' or "blocked"!

It had been about two months since I had taken on the challenge to find my sister a match. If I felt like breaking the laptop, I wonder what my sister was going through.

This got me thinking. If this is the case, I might as well put up a profile for myself now. Given my size and not so good looking features, I would probably end up with a similar experience.

If I started now, maybe I would find someone in the next three or four years!

I made an announcement at home about my grand plan. I did make it clear though that come what may, I will get married only after something had worked out for my sister.

I did not receive any objections and so that night, I went on to create a profile. I had already sort of thought about what I would write in the various sections and so got at it immediately and voila, my profile was ready and live!

I put off the lights and went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up to the beep of my phone. I had received some five e-mails. I jumped up and checked the mail.

In a few hours that I was asleep, I had already received two interests!. What luck!

Obviously I was not prepared for this sort of response. I logged in to the website and checked the profiles. Sadly the girls did not match my expectations and so I had to blankly press that "decline" button.

The next couple of days were spent scanning though more profiles and this time, I was sending out interests to people who I thought were ideal matches.

It was all fun till one morning when I received another interest. The proposal was for the daughter of an Army officer. He had mentioned that he liked what he saw and requested me to reply either via mail or phone if I was interested.

Honestly speaking, I wanted to pick up the phone, dial his number and say " I loved the profile!. Lets get married!". Then it hit, There was no way I could get married now!. I have a sister who needs to get married. Its a promise that I had made to her.

I tossed around in bed wondering what appropriate measure I could take to go around this.

I mentioned this to my parents who at the time were not in station. I thought I might as well wait for them to get back. Their advise would probably give me some direction.

While waiting, I had also expressed interest to this one girl who I thought looked nice. She had a sparkle in her eye and sort of stood out.

The day my parents got back, I received another mail. The girl who I had expressed interest to had accepted!.

I felt overwhelmed when the parents of the girl, in their e-mail to me, mentioned that she had been adopted. That line did something to me. It was not that I felt sad for her, I just felt that I HAD to get married to her now.

Filled with all this excitement, I went to my parents and poured out all this information.

AND THAT'S WHEN THE BUBBLE BURST.

Like a quick rebuttal, their first question to me was "Do you think you are ready for marriage?!"

Of course I wasn't. That was the plan!. I had to wait anyways till my sister got hitched. If I found a match for myself in the interim, It would give me time to know the girl, sort out my finances and do a little future planning!.

But how was I supposed to explain this to my parents who seemed to have already made up their minds with the fact that I was not ready for marriage!

All this excitement that I had had turned into anger. I wanted to literally just rant about what was going on in my head. I felt these thoughts would explode inside if I did not vent it out somewhere.

I considered writing a blog post. A post where I would just simply vent out all my frustration and paint a nasty picture of how my parents were playing villain to my otherwise perfectly-though-out master plan to get married.

I have to admit though, that this sudden outburst to wake up one day, put up a profile, find the perfect match and then wait in line to get married was perhaps more on the lines of a fantasy fairy tale.

Maybe what my parents said had a different angle to it. It may have seemed blunt and outright but perhaps their reaction to my excitement was a denouement of the years of experience that they have.

I might have been right in my own way. Maybe my way of thinking was a little off-track. I was probably just thinking on impulse and not realizing the depth of what I was getting myself into here.

Another important fact that they pointed out to was my otherwise rather intimidating size.

All they said was; "Look at yourself. Do you think any parent will give their daughter away to a man who looks like he could squash the life out of their daughter?!"

Pointing out to all the interests that I had received in the few days that my profile was active, I literally wanted to scream my top off and say " THESE ARE THE GIRLS WHO WANT TO MARRY ME !!"

Maybe that reaction would have put them in the offensive. maybe I would have had an edge with that response. But thinking about it now, I'm glad I did not say those things.

Their question to me was perhaps out of shear concern. More than marriage, their priority was to drill sense into me saying "Even if you do get married, the way you are going. you wont last very long!"

These questions in quick succession did prick me like a needle. It was like I was suddenly woken up from a day dream. One of those dreams where you think you are having such a wonderful time and suddenly someone woke you out of it.

Now, I like to live my life, one day at a time. I act as per what the situation requires. I don't do something thinking about 10 years from now!. Maybe I need to change it, Maybe I don't.

I had put up that profile for close to a week, I had planned to check on the responses I got, interact with the girl, tell her parents about my one and only constraint, and then by the time my route was clear, I would have worked something out with regards to finances, and family planning.

As you would have guessed by now, that's exactly what I did NOT end up doing.

After all this confrontation, I logged on the website, looked at those beautiful girls one last time, and deleted my profile. It hurts me to think about all those parents who had sent their requests in the hope that something would work out. Little did they know that the guy at the other end was not thinking on his feet.

I know for a fact that somewhere deep down, these things will haunt me. What I did was not right. But, since the damage was already done, I think it was best that I deleted the profile.

It's funny sometimes how a little confrontation with your parents can pull you out of a world of illusions.

In my case though, all they had to ask me was "Do you think you are ready"!

From Rags to Riches and back to Square One!

My last post on this platform was about a year and a half ago. I must say, there have been some enormous changes in my life since then and now.

Back then, I had a decent job, a nice little apartment, a few but good and genuine friends and a life that I felt was worth living.

Just a few month down the line, life took a turn for the worse. It was not how the events unfolded but the timing was what flabbergasted me.

It was early September when I lost my job. Being in the UAE, I knew for a fact that getting another good opening was going to be difficult but I thought I'd try anyways.

Just after the loss of job, my apartment was contract was up for renewal. I knew I couldn't afford to pay rent for a few months and hence had to let go off my roof.

My friends, who were also my roommates, moved out one by one to begin a new life, the life of marriage.

I suddenly found myself broke, homeless and completely lonely.

It took me a good three months of sulking, hunting for a job and indulging to kill my misery, that I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

I took up the not so rewarding job, but was happy to know that things were finally falling into place. I continued to stay with my brother, the only difference being that I was now an active contributor to the rent and other household expenses.

It was literally a dream come true when I cracked my driver's licence test at the very first go. My passion for cars and the love for driving were probably the supporting factors.

It all seemed so colourful.  I had a job, was living with family and picked up my licence, which again I was waiting to lay my hands on since the day I stepped into the UAE.

Things seemed to get even better when I drove my beauty off the parking lot just two weeks after getting my licence. That shiny blue colour, the scent of a new car and the proud feeling of being able to afford something like this were beyond words.

I was on cloud 9 and very strongly believed that my life was at its level best.

I joined a gym, went into total diet control and made every effort to live up to the moment.

Perhaps the guy watching from above had a completely different agenda.

Its been roughly 9 months within which all these wonderful events took place.

Today, I seem to have come face to face with the word 'Deja Vu'. Words like ' good things come in small packages' and 'live in the moment' seem to make greater sense to me.

I have lost my job, am back to being broke and to top things off, have a liability to take care of.

My saviour, my brother, seems to be losing it slowly after seeing me kinda dig my own grave.

I had barely set my foot in when I got so engrossed at the wonderful events happening around me that I lost sight of what might be.

In spite of this misery, I somehow do not seem to be very surprised. Its almost like I saw this coming.

Its like a sign from above that say's : Don't over-do it!

I hope that this little pitfall is for something better to come.

Perhaps I will come out of it stronger, and better prepared for the next challenge that life has to offer.

Whatever the case, no matter what the situation and definitely no matter what the consequences, my reply to life will remain the same: "BRING IT ON!"

Thus Far..

Before I begin, let me put out an open question to those reading; How many times in life have you come to a juncture where u looked yourself in the mirror and said, "Man!!..this is not real!...Life has changed!".

I started out in the gulf as a fresher; a guy who had no real aim in life and as someone whose main agenda was basically to try and figure out life as it was.

I looked myself in the mirror this morning and asked myself the same question. When I look back at life, it seems to be throwing back a thousand questions at me.

Questions to which I don't seem to have a definite answer. Shocking as it may seem, I had now been through two whole cycles of climate change, experienced Ramadan (to which I was now quite familiarized, so to speak) and was eventually moving towards that period of time when I would have to visit my office, go up to the HR and say, Hey, its time to get my visa renewed for another cycle!

Life in the UAE has been a bumpy ride to be very honest. I've had my up's and down's but have quite frankly enjoyed the ride so far.

It seems like just yesterday when I was packing my bags for my first ever paid vacation. The excitement, the thrill of being able to head home, to be able to narrate my experiences, to meet old pals and re-unite with some long forgotten relatives.

Hell its been a good 4 months since all that ended!. Where did it go?!..I celebrated the new year twice in the gulf and I'm finding it hard already to recollect what I did on those days...Was it really that long ago?.

Life here has been an experience for starters. The things I've come to learn, the friends I've made, the kind of new found hobbies that I've indulged into..its all part of a time that I probably will never be able to re-live.

Now I'm not saying that I regret those days, or that I would like to change something from the past. The point here is that I'm only trying to cherish those memories and at the same time try and build up on what lies ahead.

My latest hobby, photography, has been quite a game changer. I never imagined that it could get so in-to-me.

Walking on the streets, capturing memories, scenes and people have actually added meaning to my otherwise meaningless life. It seems to have added that missing sparkle.

I recently happened to stumble upon a meet-up group based in Dubai; a group of enthusiasts who share the same expensive passion - photography.

Looking at what little you can do otherwise, I decided to head for one of those meetings. I must mention that it was mind blowing.

People traveled from various parts of the country just for this one session of fun filled activities.

Things like these tell you two things; one, your not the only crazy guy who goes out and buys an SLR just for the sake of owning one and two, people here are really interested in meeting up with more of their kinds and getting to know what the other does to survive in this otherwise rather lonely secluded world that we create around us.

To sum it all up, I can proudly say that I've been seasoned, learnt the trick of the trade (here I am specifically referring to being able to live without boring yourself to death!) and am eagerly looking forward to the road ahead.

Like I mentioned earlier; life has been full of surprises and I'm actually hoping that it continues to move with the same pace of excitement and thrill. All I can say right now is that thus far, its been great!

India Calling..

This post comes as the result of an outburst of emotions as I prepare to head back to India on what will be known as my first official vacation since I joined work back in August 2011.

How the days converted into months and months into years, I didn't realize a damn thing!.

Here I am sitting at work, the back of my mind working like a bullet train on what and how ill spend these valuable vacation days.

I must admit though that the journey so far has been nothing less than memorable.

I still remember how I first stepped into the U.A.E, feeling all skeptical about working and living here.

The one thing that sunk into my system is this emotional attachment with my homeland. To be very honest, I'm not yet sure of whats causing this mixed feeling.

Is it the fact that I'll finally be returning as an N.R.I to meet old friends, or is it the sheer fact that i'll be officially off-duty for the next few weeks, I really do not know, and honestly, I really do not care!.

The life and stay here changed me in more ways than one. I started believing in myself, began understanding the importance of that B-Tech degree, realized the respect that I got just because I had the word Engineer stamped on my passport, learnt a lot about the various nationalities that lived in unison here, and last but not least, started to fall in love with my job.

I've survived the four seasons, understood the importance of the holy month of Ramadan twice, and lived through the various national celebrations.

To me, it means more than just words can describe.

My birthday is the one day in the whole year that i eagerly look forward to. This year, I made it big!. Traveled across international borders to celebrate this D-day.

Now I'm not trying to boast about anything but for an average Indian who has moved across to another country to work, small things like these make a huge impact. Definitely small, but the feeling of having that extra entry permit being stamped on my passport itself means a lot to me.

I know for a fact that this is just the beginning; that there will be more for me to learn and experience in the coming years of my existence, but what counts most is that I have now proudly survived one full cycle!.

I came in here a total stranger. The only people I knew were my family, two college mates and my boss.
One year down the lane and this place is like a second home.

I never could understand the difference between working in India and working here until i slowly began to see the difference in terms of lifestyle. Let me remind you, I came here a fresher, began working here without even knowing what I was supposed to be doing and gradually made an improvement through time.

For a guy like me who loves anything that has four wheels and a machine, laying hands on some beauties was more than just a dream come true. I haven't yet got my official driving licence but like they say, Inshallah, ill get that too with time.

Affording the latest gizmos, being picky about brands and making a saving of that salary are definitely some of the things that I would take a long time to do if I were in India.

Notwithstanding, the fact that I am now going back on that earned leave, with a chance to meet some old friends and relatives puts in this peculiar feeling of pride. A feeling that I'm going back a 'Somebody' rather than a 'Nobody'.

Perhaps everyone living and working here goes through the same phase, but for me, it will be something that I will make note of in my diary of life.

With just four more days and counting, the excitement just seems to be building up.

The tales that I will have to tell my friends back home will take more than just those few days of vacation.

Wherever I worked, the word holiday always struck a bell. Only this time, I'm already looking forward to getting back!

The only sad part is that instead of the full one month leave that I earn after working for an entire year without leave, I only get a two weeks break this time. The reason behind the short leave is obviously work but I'm not disappointed. I'm looking at it from another perspective; I get another two weeks off later; perhaps a foreign trip will suffice!.

What I do then is yet to be decided. For now, its India calling!.

And a year passes JUST LIKE THAT!!!

Now, just before I begin, let me give you a little brief on how I came up with this post.

At this very moment, at exactly 23:40 hrs, on a beautiful Thursday night, I'm about 5 pegs down!. Please don't get me wrong. Its a weekend here. The one day that I get to loosen up and forget all about the week that was.

After this one Friday, its going to be another 6 days of grueling work. not to mention the heat that I shall be subjected to!.

Anyways, let's leave those miseries away for a while. Let's talk about those good memories that I came by in this more than ordinary experience that I have had during my stay here in the UAE.

I'm sure your aware of the time when I first stepped into this country. I was kinda cynical about the ways of life here and how I would be able to manage.

It was little known back then of how this country would transform my life. Life kinda turned out to be awesome!

After one year and a few more moths post that, I have now realized how amazing this place has really been.

Trust me, when I first stepped in here, I had no friends, no one to talk to or no one to share my feelings with.

My parents were definitely there but you know how it is. You really cannot express all your feelings to them!.

Getting over all of that, I began putting my life into pieces. This one year has been rather extraordinary.

There has been a lot of things that influenced me and a lot of other things in my life.

I have matured as a human being, I have moved up the corporate ladder in terms of knowledge about the industry and about the 'Engineering" life.

It sure has been a fun ride!. I have made friends, who in reality have made a difference in my outlook to the life here.

I have had a boss who unlike other managers, has supported me, scolded me and most of the time, inspired me into being the person I am today.

I'd love to change a lot of things in my life. But trust me, The UAE experience would be the last thing that I would intend to change!.

If you have ever been to the UAE on a visit visa, looking for a job here, you would probably best understand the feelings that I have been through. From my experience, I think the only other people who would also understand are the people who have known no other land other than the UAE.

The point I'm trying to make here is that this tenure of my life has been more than ordinary.

I have made some wonderful friends here. Friends with whom I have been able to share the most intimate moments of my life without thinking twice about the consequences. Friends who have in reality, gone though more grueling times than me.

Here, life is very tempting to a new comer. You tend to lead a much more luxurious life without knowing that it would have costed a fortune to have lead a life like that.

Just imagine, I'm living in an apartment that costs like 3.5 lacs a yr!!. My roommate drives a car that comes on a rent that costs about 20K a month!.

Seems like a lot of money!. Doesn't it!. Well thats just a taste of how the Dubai life can change you.

Here, I've realized that you can either live the life of a millionaire, driving the costliest cars, or on the other hand, live the life of a miser who thinks twice before paying for a parking ticket and stays around the car for the last 15mins just so that they can avoid that 2 Dirham parking fee!.

Life here is very mesmerizing. I've come across things on a a varied scale of difference. What I have understood after all this time is just one..

Life passes just like that!!

The Change!

Its been a year now. I have slowly but steadily evolved into this new me.

A side of me I never knew existed. It was exciting and at the same time a little scary.

How I had transformed from the guy who loved his life to becoming this person who decided to take responsibility on his shoulders.

In all these months, the one thing I realized was that the credit for this change was not solely mine. There were perhaps more factors that influenced this 'evolution' in me.

It was after a lot of thought that i was able to come with the answers. I realized that working here was a major reason for this change. The outlook of people here was what I was inculcating in me.

The need to save up, the want to live a simple yet healthy life style and the desire to grow in terms of profession were a few of the things that I was beginning to develop.

I guess it would be unfair and un-just for me to not mention the one man who played a major part in this change.

He wasn't my father, not my brother, not a close friend and neither a relative. All that he happened to be was my direct reporting manager.

This one man gave me a whole new perspective to the life here. I'm not sure of what he saw in me or what he conceived of me. But I was sure of one thing. He did see some hope in me!.

To this date he continues to mentor me not only professionally but also personally. Through various examples of people he knew and some of his own, he passed on a few messages that stuck to me like glue.

I still remember the first time I made a goof up at work. This guy was furious. He thought I was some kind of a joker who by accident got his engineering degree.

I remember him asking me to make a report on something that ideally he would have done just to show me who was boss.

I remember sitting in my room with sweaty palms, desperately trying to type out that report in the best possible manner.

The expression on his face when I submitted the report is still as fresh as a photograph in my head.

 He looked at me, read the report, and then asked me to sit down. He then began explaining through one of his own stories on how he had messed up the lives of several other junior engineers when he asked them to write reports like these.

I still remember him saying " Normally I would reject the entire report, make a new one, and keep a few lines written by the junior engineer just to keep his heart. In your case, I can confidently submit this report as it is".

That one sentence was like a turbo boost to my morale. I actually wanted to jump with joy on the achievement.

Change for me was nothing more than the literal meaning. I never cared to see why I should change in the first place. I was happy for who I was.


In-spite of these small morale boosts, I definitely  had trouble changing from the lazy ass I was to someone who understood responsibility and diligence to work.


I have had a lot of up's and down's in this past one year. It has been nothing less than a rough ride on a small boat in the open ocean.


I have been through a stage where my employment was questioned. I have seen a phase where my manager has walked out on me saying that we can never work together. 


What I have understood from these various experiences, is that life has never been, and probably will never be an easy ride. The objective is to face the hurdle, analyse the shortcomings and work a way out.

I'd like to share a very simple statement that my manager made one day while we were searching for something. I being my lazy self, had almost given up the search when he said, " Dhoondega to Milega".

That sentence did hold good for that one instance but what I came to believe was that this sentence applied to everything you do in life! You seek happiness, search for it. You'll find it. You want to be rich, search for richness. You'll find it.

What I believe my manager wanted to convey to me was that if ever you need something in life, you need to need to work for it.

Nothing comes served on a platter. It might happen in a Bollywood movie or in a cartoon, but not in real life.

Another reason for this change that I was accepting was my manager making me realize my own capabilities.

Strengths I never knew I had were been highlighted for me to see. We were discussing some contractual issues one day at work and my boss tells me; " I have seen a lot of regional heads, directors and senior managers goof up when it comes to contracts. You seem to have the knack. work on it and it will do you good"

If your thinking that all is good when my manager says these "sweet" things to me, your mistaken. There was one other thing that he keeps reminding me even now. The attitude.

That's the one thing he has been talking about from day one. He understands where I come from and that I'm new to this field but what he keeps saying is that unless you have the attitude you'll go nowhere.

I happened to share this one slogan from one of my old t-shirts with him and he did agree to it as well. It read; " I do not have an attitude problem, I have The ATTITUDE, you have the problem!"

It might sound strange for most but all along, its been these small things in my life that have actually made a difference.

The pitfalls and hurdles have always taught me something in life; To never give up. The harder you try, the further you go.

I have always been the guy with a million emotions. But experiences like these tend to toughen you up. Not physically of course!, but mentally.

These lessons learnt in my my short tenure here have been life altering. My perspective to life has changed and the need to want more out of life has grown in leaps and bounds.

I might be on a low pay scale, working for a significantly small firm. But the knowledge that I have gained has been enormous.

I did plan on moving out of the job and perhaps out of the country.

But now, I know one thing. Its all gonna change!

A completely new perspective!

It's been almost 8 months since i first set foot into the UAE.

I still remember how I swore to my parents about never coming to this place again especially to work.
I also remember how I realized that coming to the UAE was my only way out for survival.
I also remember how I got all excited about going to foreign land to work!.

The point I'm trying to make here is that in all these years where I had these mixed feelings about the same place, I was unknowingly nurturing this mature side of me into a more sensible human being.

After working here and learning about the way of life in this country, i was also beginning to see life in a whole new perspective.

Its funny how you work in your home country for so many years and not once do you really feel the urgency to take your life on a more serious note and make changes for the better. I guess its the feeling of security and belonging that makes you say things like 'I have time' and 'Ill manage'.

All of a sudden when you step out of that cocoon, you feel so insecure that you almost get desperate. You start worrying about the price of groceries, the number of times you have to re-charge your mobile phone because of the call rates and to make it ridiculous, you even begin worrying about the number times you have to go out for that haircut!.

But like they say, with time, you learn to make those decisions on where to spend, how much to spend and when to spend and the funny thing is, it all comes so naturally. Its like you have been trained for something like this all your life!

Another interesting fact is the multicultural society that exists even in a country so small as this.

As an outsider, the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word UAE is perhaps a picture of a Muslim dominated country where the woman dress in black and men look funny in a white dress with headgear and yes, you cannot miss out on the oil!.

Its when you physically get to this country that you realize how wrong you were about this place. I mean a majority of this is true but a lot stays hidden.

It would be interesting to know that in the UAE, the ratio of nationals to expats is shocking. Its about 20% nationals and 80% expats!.

When you hear that figure, the first thing that comes to your mind is "how in the world did 20% of the population control the 80%?!" That question still remains quite a mystery. What most people have made out of this is that the Arab population had all the money in the world because of their oil but failed to understand how to put it to use and so the expats.

What I believe though is that the Arabs undoubtedly had all the money but instead of being lost in terms of where to spend the dough, they were just being lazy!. I mean, with so much of cash in hand, these guys had access to the best schools, colleges and universities. How then do you assume that they dont have the knowledge.

Its a different fact that more than the educational content, the Arabs were perhaps more interested in getting the certificates to boast about rather than utilizing them coz they had people like us to work for them!/

Another interesting perspective to this whole thing is the bonding that you get to see between the expats.

Back in India, the very mention of a country like Pakistan or the mention of a Pakistani national can literally set the stage for a major debate or perhaps even war!. Here in the UAE, Indians and Pakistani's live in such harmony like nothing ever happened. I mean, I have a Pakistani driver who takes me to work every day!.

All my life Bangladesh was just another country. I come to the UAE and actually see people who are from Bangladesh!. I look rather dumb when i say this but did not have a clue about where the Philippines was!.

I come to the UAE and bang!, I'm surrounded by this rather familiar looking race of people whom we knew or referred to as 'chinkis!'

In addition to all these already mentioned nationalities, you have people from the States, UK, Europe, and the various other Arab countries. All working in unison with one and only one goal; to earn that extra buck.

I have to admit that I have changed a lot as a person after coming to this part of the world. Its perhaps the sense of insecurity and responsibility that forced this change out of someone like me.

I'm not sure of what I am in for in the days,months or years to come. But i know one thing for sure. Its been a complete change in perspective!