Its been a while since I stepped out of the country in search of greener pastures.
I stepped out in the hope that my life would transform; that I would live the life I had always dreamt of. In short, I believed that my life would be nothing short of a fairy tale!
I must admit that a lot of things did change. I learnt to be a little more responsible, My living standards sort of improved, I had reached a stage where I did not have to think twice before I indulged in some impulsive shopping.
Oh, and most importantly, I thought I was ready for marriage!
I was back in India for a vacation of sorts. I had changed jobs and so had to exit the country for a quick visa change.
While I was sitting at home and wondering how I could spend some time, I was tasked with the job of searching for a match for my sister. I opened her profile, and started scanning through the various profiles that showed up as "preferred match" or as a result of my search criteria.
Before I knew it, this thing was turning into an addiction. From morning to evening, I would sit on this site and just keep scanning. It came to a point where I wanted to pick up the laptop and smash it right on the floor.
Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to do. This hunt was beyond frustrating. Not one decent profile?!!..
Every time I came across a profile that did not match what I was looking for, I would promptly select the "Ignore" option and move on. Not before long, almost every profile that I checked, had either already been "ignored' or "blocked"!
It had been about two months since I had taken on the challenge to find my sister a match. If I felt like breaking the laptop, I wonder what my sister was going through.
This got me thinking. If this is the case, I might as well put up a profile for myself now. Given my size and not so good looking features, I would probably end up with a similar experience.
If I started now, maybe I would find someone in the next three or four years!
I made an announcement at home about my grand plan. I did make it clear though that come what may, I will get married only after something had worked out for my sister.
I did not receive any objections and so that night, I went on to create a profile. I had already sort of thought about what I would write in the various sections and so got at it immediately and voila, my profile was ready and live!
I put off the lights and went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up to the beep of my phone. I had received some five e-mails. I jumped up and checked the mail.
In a few hours that I was asleep, I had already received two interests!. What luck!
Obviously I was not prepared for this sort of response. I logged in to the website and checked the profiles. Sadly the girls did not match my expectations and so I had to blankly press that "decline" button.
The next couple of days were spent scanning though more profiles and this time, I was sending out interests to people who I thought were ideal matches.
It was all fun till one morning when I received another interest. The proposal was for the daughter of an Army officer. He had mentioned that he liked what he saw and requested me to reply either via mail or phone if I was interested.
Honestly speaking, I wanted to pick up the phone, dial his number and say " I loved the profile!. Lets get married!". Then it hit, There was no way I could get married now!. I have a sister who needs to get married. Its a promise that I had made to her.
I tossed around in bed wondering what appropriate measure I could take to go around this.
I mentioned this to my parents who at the time were not in station. I thought I might as well wait for them to get back. Their advise would probably give me some direction.
While waiting, I had also expressed interest to this one girl who I thought looked nice. She had a sparkle in her eye and sort of stood out.
The day my parents got back, I received another mail. The girl who I had expressed interest to had accepted!.
I felt overwhelmed when the parents of the girl, in their e-mail to me, mentioned that she had been adopted. That line did something to me. It was not that I felt sad for her, I just felt that I HAD to get married to her now.
Filled with all this excitement, I went to my parents and poured out all this information.
AND THAT'S WHEN THE BUBBLE BURST.
Like a quick rebuttal, their first question to me was "Do you think you are ready for marriage?!"
Of course I wasn't. That was the plan!. I had to wait anyways till my sister got hitched. If I found a match for myself in the interim, It would give me time to know the girl, sort out my finances and do a little future planning!.
But how was I supposed to explain this to my parents who seemed to have already made up their minds with the fact that I was not ready for marriage!
All this excitement that I had had turned into anger. I wanted to literally just rant about what was going on in my head. I felt these thoughts would explode inside if I did not vent it out somewhere.
I considered writing a blog post. A post where I would just simply vent out all my frustration and paint a nasty picture of how my parents were playing villain to my otherwise perfectly-though-out master plan to get married.
I have to admit though, that this sudden outburst to wake up one day, put up a profile, find the perfect match and then wait in line to get married was perhaps more on the lines of a fantasy fairy tale.
Maybe what my parents said had a different angle to it. It may have seemed blunt and outright but perhaps their reaction to my excitement was a denouement of the years of experience that they have.
I might have been right in my own way. Maybe my way of thinking was a little off-track. I was probably just thinking on impulse and not realizing the depth of what I was getting myself into here.
Another important fact that they pointed out to was my otherwise rather intimidating size.
All they said was; "Look at yourself. Do you think any parent will give their daughter away to a man who looks like he could squash the life out of their daughter?!"
Pointing out to all the interests that I had received in the few days that my profile was active, I literally wanted to scream my top off and say " THESE ARE THE GIRLS WHO WANT TO MARRY ME !!"
Maybe that reaction would have put them in the offensive. maybe I would have had an edge with that response. But thinking about it now, I'm glad I did not say those things.
Their question to me was perhaps out of shear concern. More than marriage, their priority was to drill sense into me saying "Even if you do get married, the way you are going. you wont last very long!"
These questions in quick succession did prick me like a needle. It was like I was suddenly woken up from a day dream. One of those dreams where you think you are having such a wonderful time and suddenly someone woke you out of it.
Now, I like to live my life, one day at a time. I act as per what the situation requires. I don't do something thinking about 10 years from now!. Maybe I need to change it, Maybe I don't.
I had put up that profile for close to a week, I had planned to check on the responses I got, interact with the girl, tell her parents about my one and only constraint, and then by the time my route was clear, I would have worked something out with regards to finances, and family planning.
As you would have guessed by now, that's exactly what I did NOT end up doing.
After all this confrontation, I logged on the website, looked at those beautiful girls one last time, and deleted my profile. It hurts me to think about all those parents who had sent their requests in the hope that something would work out. Little did they know that the guy at the other end was not thinking on his feet.
I know for a fact that somewhere deep down, these things will haunt me. What I did was not right. But, since the damage was already done, I think it was best that I deleted the profile.
It's funny sometimes how a little confrontation with your parents can pull you out of a world of illusions.
In my case though, all they had to ask me was "Do you think you are ready"!
I stepped out in the hope that my life would transform; that I would live the life I had always dreamt of. In short, I believed that my life would be nothing short of a fairy tale!
I must admit that a lot of things did change. I learnt to be a little more responsible, My living standards sort of improved, I had reached a stage where I did not have to think twice before I indulged in some impulsive shopping.
Oh, and most importantly, I thought I was ready for marriage!
I was back in India for a vacation of sorts. I had changed jobs and so had to exit the country for a quick visa change.
While I was sitting at home and wondering how I could spend some time, I was tasked with the job of searching for a match for my sister. I opened her profile, and started scanning through the various profiles that showed up as "preferred match" or as a result of my search criteria.
Before I knew it, this thing was turning into an addiction. From morning to evening, I would sit on this site and just keep scanning. It came to a point where I wanted to pick up the laptop and smash it right on the floor.
Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to do. This hunt was beyond frustrating. Not one decent profile?!!..
Every time I came across a profile that did not match what I was looking for, I would promptly select the "Ignore" option and move on. Not before long, almost every profile that I checked, had either already been "ignored' or "blocked"!
It had been about two months since I had taken on the challenge to find my sister a match. If I felt like breaking the laptop, I wonder what my sister was going through.
This got me thinking. If this is the case, I might as well put up a profile for myself now. Given my size and not so good looking features, I would probably end up with a similar experience.
If I started now, maybe I would find someone in the next three or four years!
I made an announcement at home about my grand plan. I did make it clear though that come what may, I will get married only after something had worked out for my sister.
I did not receive any objections and so that night, I went on to create a profile. I had already sort of thought about what I would write in the various sections and so got at it immediately and voila, my profile was ready and live!
I put off the lights and went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up to the beep of my phone. I had received some five e-mails. I jumped up and checked the mail.
In a few hours that I was asleep, I had already received two interests!. What luck!
Obviously I was not prepared for this sort of response. I logged in to the website and checked the profiles. Sadly the girls did not match my expectations and so I had to blankly press that "decline" button.
The next couple of days were spent scanning though more profiles and this time, I was sending out interests to people who I thought were ideal matches.
It was all fun till one morning when I received another interest. The proposal was for the daughter of an Army officer. He had mentioned that he liked what he saw and requested me to reply either via mail or phone if I was interested.
Honestly speaking, I wanted to pick up the phone, dial his number and say " I loved the profile!. Lets get married!". Then it hit, There was no way I could get married now!. I have a sister who needs to get married. Its a promise that I had made to her.
I tossed around in bed wondering what appropriate measure I could take to go around this.
I mentioned this to my parents who at the time were not in station. I thought I might as well wait for them to get back. Their advise would probably give me some direction.
While waiting, I had also expressed interest to this one girl who I thought looked nice. She had a sparkle in her eye and sort of stood out.
The day my parents got back, I received another mail. The girl who I had expressed interest to had accepted!.
I felt overwhelmed when the parents of the girl, in their e-mail to me, mentioned that she had been adopted. That line did something to me. It was not that I felt sad for her, I just felt that I HAD to get married to her now.
Filled with all this excitement, I went to my parents and poured out all this information.
AND THAT'S WHEN THE BUBBLE BURST.
Like a quick rebuttal, their first question to me was "Do you think you are ready for marriage?!"
Of course I wasn't. That was the plan!. I had to wait anyways till my sister got hitched. If I found a match for myself in the interim, It would give me time to know the girl, sort out my finances and do a little future planning!.
But how was I supposed to explain this to my parents who seemed to have already made up their minds with the fact that I was not ready for marriage!
All this excitement that I had had turned into anger. I wanted to literally just rant about what was going on in my head. I felt these thoughts would explode inside if I did not vent it out somewhere.
I considered writing a blog post. A post where I would just simply vent out all my frustration and paint a nasty picture of how my parents were playing villain to my otherwise perfectly-though-out master plan to get married.
I have to admit though, that this sudden outburst to wake up one day, put up a profile, find the perfect match and then wait in line to get married was perhaps more on the lines of a fantasy fairy tale.
Maybe what my parents said had a different angle to it. It may have seemed blunt and outright but perhaps their reaction to my excitement was a denouement of the years of experience that they have.
I might have been right in my own way. Maybe my way of thinking was a little off-track. I was probably just thinking on impulse and not realizing the depth of what I was getting myself into here.
Another important fact that they pointed out to was my otherwise rather intimidating size.
All they said was; "Look at yourself. Do you think any parent will give their daughter away to a man who looks like he could squash the life out of their daughter?!"
Pointing out to all the interests that I had received in the few days that my profile was active, I literally wanted to scream my top off and say " THESE ARE THE GIRLS WHO WANT TO MARRY ME !!"
Maybe that reaction would have put them in the offensive. maybe I would have had an edge with that response. But thinking about it now, I'm glad I did not say those things.
Their question to me was perhaps out of shear concern. More than marriage, their priority was to drill sense into me saying "Even if you do get married, the way you are going. you wont last very long!"
These questions in quick succession did prick me like a needle. It was like I was suddenly woken up from a day dream. One of those dreams where you think you are having such a wonderful time and suddenly someone woke you out of it.
Now, I like to live my life, one day at a time. I act as per what the situation requires. I don't do something thinking about 10 years from now!. Maybe I need to change it, Maybe I don't.
I had put up that profile for close to a week, I had planned to check on the responses I got, interact with the girl, tell her parents about my one and only constraint, and then by the time my route was clear, I would have worked something out with regards to finances, and family planning.
As you would have guessed by now, that's exactly what I did NOT end up doing.
After all this confrontation, I logged on the website, looked at those beautiful girls one last time, and deleted my profile. It hurts me to think about all those parents who had sent their requests in the hope that something would work out. Little did they know that the guy at the other end was not thinking on his feet.
I know for a fact that somewhere deep down, these things will haunt me. What I did was not right. But, since the damage was already done, I think it was best that I deleted the profile.
It's funny sometimes how a little confrontation with your parents can pull you out of a world of illusions.
In my case though, all they had to ask me was "Do you think you are ready"!
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