From Single to Married - Just Like That!

Now, before I begin this post; its been a while since I actually wrote something. Both figuratively and literally.
Figuratively because I've seemed to have a blank mind for the longest time now and literally because I've not bothered to really take the time to write anything this extensive in a long time.

The last time I posted something, I was a single man, enjoying the little quirks that life had to offer and needless to say, I was happy. At least I thought I was.

I've been terrible at managing my finances and it somehow never seemed to bother me. May it was because I had this feeling in my head that I had people around; friends and relatives that would pull me out of a sticky situation in case I did get into one.

These thoughts got real when on one fine morning I decided to splurge on yet another faction of my imagination; I decided it was time to get married!.

I had no savings, a zero bank balance, absolutely no assets and yes, I was still determined to go ahead with this bizarre thought that suddenly popped into my head.

In one of my previous posts I've mentioned how I created an online matrimonial profile and how it had to drastically stop with a rather shrewed intervention from my parents.

Let me tell you that once I found myself back on a stable job and back in action, I decided I was good to go with the whole marriage extravaganza.

Surprisingly, my parents didn't say a word this time. They silently played along. We went from matching a profile to me making multiple trips to meet the girl, to planning an engagement and hell to even fixing a date for the wedding.

Funny thing is, I had absolutely no clue how the finances worked for something so major and where I was going to find the money to pay for this when I was already spending and paying back more than I was making.

Again, without a saying a word or flooding me with advise, my parents supported me. Payments were made on my behalf, arrangements were made as requested and ya, before I knew it I was on a plane to India to tie the knot!

I guess the first hit to my crisis came when I decided to cash out on the credit cards to pay for a honeymoon that I otherwise wouldn't even dare to dream about. I guess when the love fever hits you, nothing else really matters.

We had a good trip, got back and then I headed back to home base, whilst making a promise to my now wife, that I would soon send across a visa for her travel. The initially planned wait of a 15 days turned to over a month and before I knew it I was on month two of the marriage and still struggling to find a way to save up enough to even afford a visa.

Like they say, god is great!. I'm not a firm believer in god or religion for that matter but when the lord bestows you with a girl like my wife, you really begin to think about how he has his funny ways to teach you a lesson.

My wife, now getting a faint idea of the situation or mess that I was in, decided to just get herself a visa and ticket and flew out here to be with me.

The best three months of my life were about to begin. How time flew still is a mystery to me. The feeling of just knowing that the person lying next to you in bed every night is willing to sacrifice everything for you is more overwhelming than anything else.

The void that she filled in my life was realized only when her visa tenure was up and when she had to return back.

With things still not looking good and my job scene suddenly turning in the not so right direction, I continue to have nightmares about how things will shape up.

While my wife was here, I couldn't keep my eyes open beyond 11 pm. Now, at almost 3 am, I'm writing a blog post about my life whilst keeping the lights on because I'm scared of the dark. Let's just day, I'm not comfortable staying alone anymore.

While I run the numbers in my head, make these bizarre schemes on how I can repay my debt, and how I can piece my life back together, I have this strange feeling about how big a fool I was to do what I did when I wasn't even prepared for it.

I love my wife and that's the truth but taking her from her comfort zone and bringing her into my life's chaotic ways doesn't seem rational.

Putting my dad through the trouble of getting his eldest son married when he already is trying to save up for his only daughters wedding seems ungrateful.

I'm generally known for keeping a cool head and staying positive when the whole world is seeing it the other way but in this instance it seems like I'm slowly beginning to see the bigger picture.

As I struggle to catch a nights sleep with the lights still on, all I want is to be able to live debt free, pay back my parents for all that they've done for me and to give a life to my wife; one that she deserves.

How I went from being single, care free to married and worried, still beats me.

All I know for now is that god definitely has his funny ways of passing down a piece of his mind!

Do I need Anger Management?

Okay, so now this may sound totally bizarre and out of place but ya, I suddenly had this outburst of random thoughts on why I do what I do at times.

Now before I get into the details, let me say this; I am generally known to be quite suppressed when it comes to expressing my feelings. And when I say feelings it generally includes stuff like anger also.

But then, there are these inexplicable situations where I turn into a total unreasonable beast of some kind. The kind that doesn't want to listen/ understand/ assess the situation.

Now I don't remember when this started or how I turned into this beast of a person who is otherwise quite docile but turns completely hostile within a split second.

What, who and when this happens is all subjective. A simple tap on the head at the wrong hour could be enough for me to lose it completely.

Now, what I did or how I reacted as a kid is something that I obviously wouldn't remember but the last time I remember turning into a monster of this kind was when I was in college.

After that, over these past so many years, I've somehow not had this outburst. It wasn't until very recently that I lost it when my mother was visiting.

She was at home and a simple argument about something that I don't very clearly remember now, was what instigated the whole fury. Now, before you start judging me, let me make it very clear that unlike the other times, I did not turn violent. this time it was more of a raising my voice and then going into the silent treatment mode.

What saddens me even now is that half of her vacation time was spoilt because yours truly decided to throw his weight around for some meagre issue. It was like this outburst of being completely immature. Believe it or not, I still find it hard to understand why I did what I did back then.

My mom went back feeling sad that her eldest son was being this rude monster and giving her the treatment that she didn't deserve in the first place.

Slowly with time, I sort of came to terms with myself and with the help of some close one's was eventually able to make peace with her. It was a simple case of picking up the phone and talking to her but at that time, the whole process seemed very awkward to me. Why it felt that way is another story altogether I guess.

The second of such an instance came almost 2 months later. This time the target was my little sister. When I say little, I don't literally mean little. Wouldn't want to showcase myself as being a guy who enjoys child abuse. She is just a year younger to me. If that clears the air for starters.

Anyways, this time around, the subject of conversation had something to do with food if I remember correctly. One thing led to the other and before I could realize it, it was too late. The damage was done. With tears rolling down her cheeks and fighting back words, she got up from where she was sitting and went into the bedroom.

The funny thing about all this is that after the incident, it hardly took me 5 minutes to realize what I had done. I had raised my hands on a girl who meant my life to me. What forced me into doing what I did was a mystery; or rather still is a mystery.

I hate my self for times like these. Not only does it upset all the people involved, it also spoils the whole homely atmosphere. I spent the whole night wondering why I did it and also how I could right the situation.

I must admit that I have recently discovered that I'm awfully bad with making up after an argument or fight. I go on this entire guilt trip not knowing how to set things straight.

Sometimes I wish I had some kind of time machine that I could use to just turn back time and ensure that such an incident never occurred in the first place. If only something like that was possible!


The funny thing here is that right after this happened, I suddenly felt like I should tell someone about what I just did and sort of seek assistance with handling the issue.

Rather than turning these thoughts into meaningful action, I ended sitting right where I was and breaking my head over why I had done it in the first place.

I guess it was not until bed time that I decided to put an end to this misery and just dropped a text to my sister saying sorry. It may have been a stupid gesture but at that time, it seemed like the best thing to do.

As I snug into my bed with an overflow of thoughts about the whole incident, this one question was what put me to sleep I guess that night; Do I really need anger management?.

In search of my 'SELF'

This story dates back to a mildly cold night in October 1985; to be precise, October 25th, 1985, 2100 hrs.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this was the day and time when 'I' was born.

Like every other parent, my folks too, were thoroughly excited about my arrival, celebrations were underway and congratulatory messages were being passed around.

Again, like every other child, no stones were left un-turned in ensuring that I was being loved, cared for and raised to be the knight in shining armor to my parents. I am in Dubai, the land of gold, and so the shining armor part has probably been taken care of. But knight?; I doubt.

I was born to a Naval officer and a school teacher. Both well qualified and achievers in whatever field they chose.

My journey back then, was only beginning. Little did I know what sort of a roller coaster ride it would turn out to be.

My mother always told me and probably still maintains that as a kid, I was always ahead of my class. Be it sports, extra-curricular activities or even academics, I was always there. Surprisingly for me, I always notched that first prize. They said that if I came home after an exam and seemed worried about that one question, it would always turn out that I would have only just missed that one answer in my test. Irony is, I don't know where that part of me has vanished. That zeal for success, that thirst to be amongst the best; where did it go?. Where did I lose my 'SELF'?

As days and years passed by, a part of my original 'SELF' seemed to be fading away into the dark.

I went from bright and over achieving in primary school, to meagre and average in middle school, to even barely achieving or in some cases, a total failure by the time I got to high school and graduation.

Now I would understand if academics was the only lacking point. Maybe I wasn't all that bright after all. I may have mastered primary school but maybe my brain was not designed for the later levels of education. The funny part here is that along with academics, went extra-curricular and sports too.

It was, but with great difficulty that I managed to scrape past school and college. I thought the world was mine when I finished my graduation after a shameless 7 year period. What I did not realize at that point was that in the time that I finished my graduation, people generally finished a masters and probably also a doctorate.

Nonetheless, the drive to move on and make a living, took me into the world of call centers.

It was awesome; it was different. There was this sense of freedom associated with being able to pay for your meals. Once again, I made the mistake of believing that this was 'IT'. I believed that I had gotten past the education phase, had started earning and so everything would be smooth sailing from here. Little did I know that I was heading down a river that lead to a waterfall.

It was in the late 2000's that I finally decided that enough was enough and that I had to start catching up with friends and peers before I got completely left out in this race of life.

With bags packed and ambitions on full throttle I set foot into Dubai. A place where I thought I would never fit in.

Like every other person who has maybe lost out on a lot in life, I only wanted to make up for lost time. Career options were varied and vast but I decided to follow my education and enter the field of mechanics, air conditioning  and construction.

Now I wouldn't say that I didn't try. I made every effort to excel. But somehow from deep inside I kept feeling that something was missing. That I was missing a part of my 'SELF'.

Four years in the Gulf and four different jobs later, I am still searching. I have a secured job. If I channelize my focus and make an effort I might succeed. But in all this, I just don't see my 'SELF'.

Heart in heart, I want to do a lot of other things. I want to venture into a different stream, want to attain that other degree which may help me get a job that I would perhaps enjoy; a job where excellence would come naturally. A profession where I would find my 'SELF'.

With every passing day, I am growing older. If I don't act fast, it might be too late. I definitely do not wish to see myself whining about my job and life when i'm headed for retirement.

I wish to follow a career path where I felt like my 'SELF' and not the person that I have transformed into.

I want to move out;Canada has been a dream destination for me. I want to go and explore my opportunities. I want to LIVE the LIFE that I have ALWAYS wanted.

How and when?; well that remains a mystery. If life has taught me anything then it is this; you can plan all you want or try as hard as you wish, but you will undoubtedly, always get what you are destined for. People might say loads of crap about hard work and determination but then what they miss out on is the factor called luck and something called fate.

To keep things short and to avoid the reader from falling off to sleep, i'll put an end to my life's miseries.

I probably have missed out on mentioning certain details but that's okay. I'm sure you get the picture.

As for now, I'll settle down into bed for the night. I can always resume the hunt for my 'SELF' tomorrow!

This ‘thing’ called love

It’s not every day that you find the love of your life. Though many may disagree with the statement, it sort of holds good for the majority.

My life too seemed to go through this phase a couple of times. These were times when I as an individual felt deeply attracted to a person of the opposite sex.

This, I later found out the hard way, was nothing more than a simple infatuation for the simple reason that my feelings for the same girl would change after a couple of months or even days in certain cases.

Notwithstanding, I continued to allow these feelings to creep in and out and was quite content with the state of affairs.

Things sort of took a turn when I encountered this phenomenon called maturity.

It was like a clean-up session within my heart and brain wherein I learnt that these feelings/infatuations were something that were a part of my teenage and that at my age, I need to either live a single, carefree life or look for that special someone with whom I could possible live the rest of my life.

It was all hunky dory till I reached an age when this deadly virus called marriage started coming into the picture.

Friends and family were getting hitched and it was sort of scary. I too was fast approaching the ‘marriageable age’ and for obvious reasons, I had to decide what I wanted from life.

As my star suggests, we scorpions are meant to be passionate and caring lovers who have that extra ounce of possessiveness when it comes to our partners.

In my case however, I never seemed to have the passion nor did I have a partner to shower her with love and care.

These issues never bothered me. I seemed to be pretty cool about the whole thing and just wanted to experience life as it came.

But again, I was a man at the end of the day and cravings for love or to be loved were bound to come back. I did not have anything against an arranged marriage but always dreamt to falling in love and getting married to that perfect someone.

Maybe it was frustration or loneliness, I cannot be very sure, but I signed up on this very promising website that seemed to be created for people like me who did not completely believe in the traditional rituals of an arranged marriage.

The signing in was simple. Key in your personal details, mention your likes and dislikes, state what you want from a partner and some more related information. Oh and yes, the most important  piece of information, a photograph.

The process was simple, based on the information that you provide, the website pulls out like minded profiles from the opposite sex and lists them down for you to select. If you like the profile, you say like. If you don’t, then just ignore.

Privacy and confidentiality of your selection was maintained at all times and the other person would never know that you liked their profile unless and until they reciprocated the interest.

I think I was sort of lucky since I managed to pull up quite a large number of matches. Not that these matches meant anything but for a guy, its motivating.

The initial set of messages and greetings would be exchanged but further to that nothing seemed to happen.

And then the magic happened. I was matched with a profile of this one girl who seemed to be pretty good to be true. Her interests were exactly what I was looking for. She looked pretty, did a lot of writing (which by the way for me was a major turn on) and in general seemed to be a perfect match.

In this case too, we started off with the usual hi hello business but there seemed to be a spark. We sort of clicked. It didn't take time for us to share our numbers with each other and then move on to an easier way of staying in touch – Whatsapp!

From here the situation only seemed to bloom with both of us getting to know each other better and with time, we became pretty close.

Since this was not a fairytale story, the twists and drama were bound to make an entry into our otherwise happy relationship.

The parents of the girl in question were already on the lookout for a suitable match and our little relationship could not take shape since we had not even seen each other in person. With 21^st century technology in place, the most we could do was get a glimpse of each other on Skype but that was it.

With time running out and nothing working, like any other relationship, we began to drift. Now, I'm not implying that we stopped liking each other but the pressure of marriage for the girl and the fact that we were located on two different continents posed a concern.

We still spoke. We still tried our best to maintain whatever it was that we had and basically we kept our hopes high.

To make things a whole lot more complicated, I declared to her that I was falling in love and that I had to make this work. Call it her denial or simple logical thinking, she hesitated to reciprocate.

We had decided a long time ago that we would not date since we were both unsure of where this would lead and were both equally afraid of a heartbreak at the end if things did not work the way we wanted it to.

It wasn't until recently that she too, in all our little chats, sort of admitted that somewhere between all this caring, she had also fallen in love with me.

Normally, I would have jumped with joy on hearing something like this but here I was, thinking of what to do next.

It was like I was in some sort of complex ‘Math Olympiad’ where I was required to solve an impossible equation if I needed to clear the round.

All said and done, at present, we still chat, we still try and console each other and still have this hope within hope that something will work out.

Strangely enough, the fact that to make a relationship a reality, both people must at least see each other in person and spend some time together, has not yet been worked out.

Since time is not our best suit, things are a little tricky. But when it comes to love, logic doesn't seem to have any value.

How things shape up from here are yet to be seen and experienced. For now, it’s this ‘thing’ called love that’s holding us together.

The Lankan Diaries

Its not very often that opportunities like these knock at your doorstep, inviting you to embark on a journey this exciting.

Two days into my new job and off I go, on an all expense paid trip, with friends, family and colleagues, courtesy my company, to a tropical destination, Sri Lanka.

The year certainly started off with a bang for me. While the getting-a-new-job scene happened last year, it was the post joining journey that was so exciting.

I walked into my office, all excited about starting afresh and hoping that things would be smooth sailing from here on.

One day in and I hear talks and whispers about a company retreat. A trip that the company sends its employees on, every two years. Of-course with me just about finishing the joining formalities and waiting for my work visa to get stamped on my passport, the possibilities of being able to make the trip were pretty grim.

Plus the head count was finalized, the hotel bookings were made and all other related travel arrangements had been done prior to my joining and hence I did not, in the least, think I would be a part of this wonderful journey.

It was the tragic death of one of my colleagues' mother in law that had the office admin in a spin.

This particular person was to travel with his wife, two children and parents. A total of 6 six seats, fell vacant just two days before the trip date.

It was chaos in office as cancellation of the additional seats would mean a hefty loss to the company and so all efforts were being made to fill the void.

And in I came. I was promptly popped the question of weather or not I would be interested in joining the others, to which I too, in almost perfect sync, said yes.

The next question was, how in the world was I supposed to go on a company retreat without even getting my visa stamped?!. The process was sped up, HR guys were at the immigration all night trying to figure out my case and get me through and basically all efforts were being made to sort of break a world record for fastest visa stamped. To keep things short, I got my visa stamped just the day prior to departure.

I packed my bags the previous night, which again was a mess because obviously I was not prepared for a trip like this. Luckily being a man had its advantages. A pair of jeans, shorts for the beach, a couple of inners and a few of my peppy looking t-shirts and I was good to go.

We arrived early at the airport, everyone eager to just leave the country and work behind for a few days.

Like any other group trip, this one too was filled with people showing their love for group-selfies and what not using all the latest gadgetry.

Less be told, the next thing we knew was the air-hostess asking us to keep our chairs in the up-right position and lift the window shades as we were preparing to land.

It was about 3:30 AM, local time. We finished with the airport formalities and walked out to breathe some Lankan air. Those who felt starved for nicotine, ran out to light up. The rest, just stood by with drowsy eyes, wondering what was planned next.

A guide then asked us to board the coach that would take us to our hotel in a place called Hikkaduwa, which we were told, was about 5 hours from the airport.

We were also told that we would be stopping by for breakfast, water sports for those interested and also a visit to the turtle hatchery were sea turtles were rescued and bred to be released back into the ocean once they were deemed fit.

It was around 1:00 PM that we finally reached our hotel. The warm and rather friendly hotel staff guided us for check-in. We were allotted our respective rooms and before we could even think about crashing in bed, the next announcement was made. Lunch in 15 mins. Post which we were supposed to go visit a local fort site.

The lunch was eventful with the restaurant constantly giving me that Goan shack feel. A similar sea view, the breeze from the beach, the sand on my feet and yes, a beer in my hand. It felt like I was back home on vacation!.

The trip to the local fort wasn't so exciting, more so because everyone was almost drained. The long flight, the bus trip, the water sports, turtles, and lunch. All that everyone wanted was to crash for the night and wake up fresh for the next day.

I must mention though that the fort was very well maintained. Unlike in India where one would expect to find paan stains on the wall and declarations of love on every other corner, this place was kept at its original best. No litter on the ground and no local kids playing cricket in the compound.

We did notice the fair share of love birds perched here and there but again, this being a tourist destination, nobody seemed to really care.

With the trip completed for Day-1, we had an early meal and went to bed.

We woke up early to hit the beach and have some fun before we could head out for our day's activities which mainly comprised of a jungle safari.

The safari now, was not as we expected. To be honest, it was nothing like we had expected. Apart from spotting a few baby elephants every now and then, some rather malnutritioned versions of a cow and some crocodiles that looked like they were carved out of plastic and placed in water, there was nothing.

This perhaps was the only let down in an otherwise exciting and fun filled trip. We stopped for some chai and then headed back to base camp, our hotel.

This time around, the energy levels were still at an optimum and so we played some beach volleyball, sat around and sipped on some chilled beer and played some rather childish games which again seemed like a lot of fun since were in such a large group.

It was around 2:00 AM when we finally decided to call it a night and retreat back to our rooms. The next day, which was the last, was supposed to accommodate some more fun activities.

Day-3, like the other two, began in the morning with a dip in the beach. Post breakfast, we headed to a diving centre where we would be taken mid sea for a 20-30 metres dive to see some live corals and underwater life.

This was again quite interesting and exciting but also a little scary. I had done this sort of thing long back but then again, I was a kid and probably hadn't been on a dive so deep.

With the basic training being imparted, and the trainer feeling confident, we set out to sea.

I was amongst the first few who got to dive, the experience was overwhelming. It was a sight that I had missed since being in the Andaman and Nicobar Islands. The live corals, the colourful fish and the brilliant sea life. It was like an adrenaline rush 30 metres under water.

With everyone finishing off with their share of the dive, we headed back to shore for some lunch.

The same restaurant was chosen as a result of a popularity vote and hence we went back in, had our meals and then went back to the hotel.

Time was running short. we had to pack up, head out and reach the airport for our departure.

The trip was tiring but nobody wanted to go back. The thought of seeing that office desk, the projects, the site, the meetings, it was something we had completely forgotten about in these few days.

To keep the spirits high, and to make the bus trip a little more lively, we had a sort of sing song competition going , with everyone just screaming their lungs out in an attempt to sing the best they could. It wasn't particularly pleasing to the ears but heck, we were having a good time anyways!

Before we knew it it was time for check-in and boarding. With heavy feet, we walked to our seats, fastened our seat belts and pulled out that eye mask in an attempt to close our eyes one more time before we woke up to the reality of an 8 to 5 job.

The trip was awesome. Something that I would remember, particularly because of the way I got in.

As for now, I need to head downstairs for my next weekly site progress meeting. *sign*.

"Lets get MARRIED!"...But wait, are you ready?!

Its been a while since I stepped out of the country in search of greener pastures.

I stepped out in the hope that my life would transform; that I would live the life I had always dreamt of. In short, I believed that my life would be nothing short of a fairy tale!

I must admit that a lot of things did change. I learnt to be a little more responsible, My living standards sort of improved, I had reached a stage where I did not have to think twice before I indulged in some impulsive shopping.

Oh, and most importantly, I thought I was ready for marriage!

I was back in India for a vacation of sorts. I had changed jobs and so had to exit the country for a quick visa change.

While I was sitting at home and wondering how I could spend some time, I was tasked with the job of searching for a match for my sister. I opened her profile, and started scanning through the various profiles that showed up as "preferred match" or as a result of my search criteria.

Before I knew it, this thing was turning into an addiction. From morning to evening, I would sit on this site and just keep scanning. It came to a point where I wanted to pick up the laptop and smash it right on the floor.

Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to do. This hunt was beyond frustrating. Not one decent profile?!!..

Every time I came across a profile that did not match what I was looking for, I would promptly select the "Ignore" option and move on. Not before long, almost every profile that I checked, had either already been "ignored' or "blocked"!

It had been about two months since I had taken on the challenge to find my sister a match. If I felt like breaking the laptop, I wonder what my sister was going through.

This got me thinking. If this is the case, I might as well put up a profile for myself now. Given my size and not so good looking features, I would probably end up with a similar experience.

If I started now, maybe I would find someone in the next three or four years!

I made an announcement at home about my grand plan. I did make it clear though that come what may, I will get married only after something had worked out for my sister.

I did not receive any objections and so that night, I went on to create a profile. I had already sort of thought about what I would write in the various sections and so got at it immediately and voila, my profile was ready and live!

I put off the lights and went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up to the beep of my phone. I had received some five e-mails. I jumped up and checked the mail.

In a few hours that I was asleep, I had already received two interests!. What luck!

Obviously I was not prepared for this sort of response. I logged in to the website and checked the profiles. Sadly the girls did not match my expectations and so I had to blankly press that "decline" button.

The next couple of days were spent scanning though more profiles and this time, I was sending out interests to people who I thought were ideal matches.

It was all fun till one morning when I received another interest. The proposal was for the daughter of an Army officer. He had mentioned that he liked what he saw and requested me to reply either via mail or phone if I was interested.

Honestly speaking, I wanted to pick up the phone, dial his number and say " I loved the profile!. Lets get married!". Then it hit, There was no way I could get married now!. I have a sister who needs to get married. Its a promise that I had made to her.

I tossed around in bed wondering what appropriate measure I could take to go around this.

I mentioned this to my parents who at the time were not in station. I thought I might as well wait for them to get back. Their advise would probably give me some direction.

While waiting, I had also expressed interest to this one girl who I thought looked nice. She had a sparkle in her eye and sort of stood out.

The day my parents got back, I received another mail. The girl who I had expressed interest to had accepted!.

I felt overwhelmed when the parents of the girl, in their e-mail to me, mentioned that she had been adopted. That line did something to me. It was not that I felt sad for her, I just felt that I HAD to get married to her now.

Filled with all this excitement, I went to my parents and poured out all this information.

AND THAT'S WHEN THE BUBBLE BURST.

Like a quick rebuttal, their first question to me was "Do you think you are ready for marriage?!"

Of course I wasn't. That was the plan!. I had to wait anyways till my sister got hitched. If I found a match for myself in the interim, It would give me time to know the girl, sort out my finances and do a little future planning!.

But how was I supposed to explain this to my parents who seemed to have already made up their minds with the fact that I was not ready for marriage!

All this excitement that I had had turned into anger. I wanted to literally just rant about what was going on in my head. I felt these thoughts would explode inside if I did not vent it out somewhere.

I considered writing a blog post. A post where I would just simply vent out all my frustration and paint a nasty picture of how my parents were playing villain to my otherwise perfectly-though-out master plan to get married.

I have to admit though, that this sudden outburst to wake up one day, put up a profile, find the perfect match and then wait in line to get married was perhaps more on the lines of a fantasy fairy tale.

Maybe what my parents said had a different angle to it. It may have seemed blunt and outright but perhaps their reaction to my excitement was a denouement of the years of experience that they have.

I might have been right in my own way. Maybe my way of thinking was a little off-track. I was probably just thinking on impulse and not realizing the depth of what I was getting myself into here.

Another important fact that they pointed out to was my otherwise rather intimidating size.

All they said was; "Look at yourself. Do you think any parent will give their daughter away to a man who looks like he could squash the life out of their daughter?!"

Pointing out to all the interests that I had received in the few days that my profile was active, I literally wanted to scream my top off and say " THESE ARE THE GIRLS WHO WANT TO MARRY ME !!"

Maybe that reaction would have put them in the offensive. maybe I would have had an edge with that response. But thinking about it now, I'm glad I did not say those things.

Their question to me was perhaps out of shear concern. More than marriage, their priority was to drill sense into me saying "Even if you do get married, the way you are going. you wont last very long!"

These questions in quick succession did prick me like a needle. It was like I was suddenly woken up from a day dream. One of those dreams where you think you are having such a wonderful time and suddenly someone woke you out of it.

Now, I like to live my life, one day at a time. I act as per what the situation requires. I don't do something thinking about 10 years from now!. Maybe I need to change it, Maybe I don't.

I had put up that profile for close to a week, I had planned to check on the responses I got, interact with the girl, tell her parents about my one and only constraint, and then by the time my route was clear, I would have worked something out with regards to finances, and family planning.

As you would have guessed by now, that's exactly what I did NOT end up doing.

After all this confrontation, I logged on the website, looked at those beautiful girls one last time, and deleted my profile. It hurts me to think about all those parents who had sent their requests in the hope that something would work out. Little did they know that the guy at the other end was not thinking on his feet.

I know for a fact that somewhere deep down, these things will haunt me. What I did was not right. But, since the damage was already done, I think it was best that I deleted the profile.

It's funny sometimes how a little confrontation with your parents can pull you out of a world of illusions.

In my case though, all they had to ask me was "Do you think you are ready"!

From Rags to Riches and back to Square One!

My last post on this platform was about a year and a half ago. I must say, there have been some enormous changes in my life since then and now.

Back then, I had a decent job, a nice little apartment, a few but good and genuine friends and a life that I felt was worth living.

Just a few month down the line, life took a turn for the worse. It was not how the events unfolded but the timing was what flabbergasted me.

It was early September when I lost my job. Being in the UAE, I knew for a fact that getting another good opening was going to be difficult but I thought I'd try anyways.

Just after the loss of job, my apartment was contract was up for renewal. I knew I couldn't afford to pay rent for a few months and hence had to let go off my roof.

My friends, who were also my roommates, moved out one by one to begin a new life, the life of marriage.

I suddenly found myself broke, homeless and completely lonely.

It took me a good three months of sulking, hunting for a job and indulging to kill my misery, that I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

I took up the not so rewarding job, but was happy to know that things were finally falling into place. I continued to stay with my brother, the only difference being that I was now an active contributor to the rent and other household expenses.

It was literally a dream come true when I cracked my driver's licence test at the very first go. My passion for cars and the love for driving were probably the supporting factors.

It all seemed so colourful.  I had a job, was living with family and picked up my licence, which again I was waiting to lay my hands on since the day I stepped into the UAE.

Things seemed to get even better when I drove my beauty off the parking lot just two weeks after getting my licence. That shiny blue colour, the scent of a new car and the proud feeling of being able to afford something like this were beyond words.

I was on cloud 9 and very strongly believed that my life was at its level best.

I joined a gym, went into total diet control and made every effort to live up to the moment.

Perhaps the guy watching from above had a completely different agenda.

Its been roughly 9 months within which all these wonderful events took place.

Today, I seem to have come face to face with the word 'Deja Vu'. Words like ' good things come in small packages' and 'live in the moment' seem to make greater sense to me.

I have lost my job, am back to being broke and to top things off, have a liability to take care of.

My saviour, my brother, seems to be losing it slowly after seeing me kinda dig my own grave.

I had barely set my foot in when I got so engrossed at the wonderful events happening around me that I lost sight of what might be.

In spite of this misery, I somehow do not seem to be very surprised. Its almost like I saw this coming.

Its like a sign from above that say's : Don't over-do it!

I hope that this little pitfall is for something better to come.

Perhaps I will come out of it stronger, and better prepared for the next challenge that life has to offer.

Whatever the case, no matter what the situation and definitely no matter what the consequences, my reply to life will remain the same: "BRING IT ON!"

Thus Far..

Before I begin, let me put out an open question to those reading; How many times in life have you come to a juncture where u looked yourself in the mirror and said, "Man!!..this is not real!...Life has changed!".

I started out in the gulf as a fresher; a guy who had no real aim in life and as someone whose main agenda was basically to try and figure out life as it was.

I looked myself in the mirror this morning and asked myself the same question. When I look back at life, it seems to be throwing back a thousand questions at me.

Questions to which I don't seem to have a definite answer. Shocking as it may seem, I had now been through two whole cycles of climate change, experienced Ramadan (to which I was now quite familiarized, so to speak) and was eventually moving towards that period of time when I would have to visit my office, go up to the HR and say, Hey, its time to get my visa renewed for another cycle!

Life in the UAE has been a bumpy ride to be very honest. I've had my up's and down's but have quite frankly enjoyed the ride so far.

It seems like just yesterday when I was packing my bags for my first ever paid vacation. The excitement, the thrill of being able to head home, to be able to narrate my experiences, to meet old pals and re-unite with some long forgotten relatives.

Hell its been a good 4 months since all that ended!. Where did it go?!..I celebrated the new year twice in the gulf and I'm finding it hard already to recollect what I did on those days...Was it really that long ago?.

Life here has been an experience for starters. The things I've come to learn, the friends I've made, the kind of new found hobbies that I've indulged into..its all part of a time that I probably will never be able to re-live.

Now I'm not saying that I regret those days, or that I would like to change something from the past. The point here is that I'm only trying to cherish those memories and at the same time try and build up on what lies ahead.

My latest hobby, photography, has been quite a game changer. I never imagined that it could get so in-to-me.

Walking on the streets, capturing memories, scenes and people have actually added meaning to my otherwise meaningless life. It seems to have added that missing sparkle.

I recently happened to stumble upon a meet-up group based in Dubai; a group of enthusiasts who share the same expensive passion - photography.

Looking at what little you can do otherwise, I decided to head for one of those meetings. I must mention that it was mind blowing.

People traveled from various parts of the country just for this one session of fun filled activities.

Things like these tell you two things; one, your not the only crazy guy who goes out and buys an SLR just for the sake of owning one and two, people here are really interested in meeting up with more of their kinds and getting to know what the other does to survive in this otherwise rather lonely secluded world that we create around us.

To sum it all up, I can proudly say that I've been seasoned, learnt the trick of the trade (here I am specifically referring to being able to live without boring yourself to death!) and am eagerly looking forward to the road ahead.

Like I mentioned earlier; life has been full of surprises and I'm actually hoping that it continues to move with the same pace of excitement and thrill. All I can say right now is that thus far, its been great!

India Calling..

This post comes as the result of an outburst of emotions as I prepare to head back to India on what will be known as my first official vacation since I joined work back in August 2011.

How the days converted into months and months into years, I didn't realize a damn thing!.

Here I am sitting at work, the back of my mind working like a bullet train on what and how ill spend these valuable vacation days.

I must admit though that the journey so far has been nothing less than memorable.

I still remember how I first stepped into the U.A.E, feeling all skeptical about working and living here.

The one thing that sunk into my system is this emotional attachment with my homeland. To be very honest, I'm not yet sure of whats causing this mixed feeling.

Is it the fact that I'll finally be returning as an N.R.I to meet old friends, or is it the sheer fact that i'll be officially off-duty for the next few weeks, I really do not know, and honestly, I really do not care!.

The life and stay here changed me in more ways than one. I started believing in myself, began understanding the importance of that B-Tech degree, realized the respect that I got just because I had the word Engineer stamped on my passport, learnt a lot about the various nationalities that lived in unison here, and last but not least, started to fall in love with my job.

I've survived the four seasons, understood the importance of the holy month of Ramadan twice, and lived through the various national celebrations.

To me, it means more than just words can describe.

My birthday is the one day in the whole year that i eagerly look forward to. This year, I made it big!. Traveled across international borders to celebrate this D-day.

Now I'm not trying to boast about anything but for an average Indian who has moved across to another country to work, small things like these make a huge impact. Definitely small, but the feeling of having that extra entry permit being stamped on my passport itself means a lot to me.

I know for a fact that this is just the beginning; that there will be more for me to learn and experience in the coming years of my existence, but what counts most is that I have now proudly survived one full cycle!.

I came in here a total stranger. The only people I knew were my family, two college mates and my boss.
One year down the lane and this place is like a second home.

I never could understand the difference between working in India and working here until i slowly began to see the difference in terms of lifestyle. Let me remind you, I came here a fresher, began working here without even knowing what I was supposed to be doing and gradually made an improvement through time.

For a guy like me who loves anything that has four wheels and a machine, laying hands on some beauties was more than just a dream come true. I haven't yet got my official driving licence but like they say, Inshallah, ill get that too with time.

Affording the latest gizmos, being picky about brands and making a saving of that salary are definitely some of the things that I would take a long time to do if I were in India.

Notwithstanding, the fact that I am now going back on that earned leave, with a chance to meet some old friends and relatives puts in this peculiar feeling of pride. A feeling that I'm going back a 'Somebody' rather than a 'Nobody'.

Perhaps everyone living and working here goes through the same phase, but for me, it will be something that I will make note of in my diary of life.

With just four more days and counting, the excitement just seems to be building up.

The tales that I will have to tell my friends back home will take more than just those few days of vacation.

Wherever I worked, the word holiday always struck a bell. Only this time, I'm already looking forward to getting back!

The only sad part is that instead of the full one month leave that I earn after working for an entire year without leave, I only get a two weeks break this time. The reason behind the short leave is obviously work but I'm not disappointed. I'm looking at it from another perspective; I get another two weeks off later; perhaps a foreign trip will suffice!.

What I do then is yet to be decided. For now, its India calling!.

And a year passes JUST LIKE THAT!!!

Now, just before I begin, let me give you a little brief on how I came up with this post.

At this very moment, at exactly 23:40 hrs, on a beautiful Thursday night, I'm about 5 pegs down!. Please don't get me wrong. Its a weekend here. The one day that I get to loosen up and forget all about the week that was.

After this one Friday, its going to be another 6 days of grueling work. not to mention the heat that I shall be subjected to!.

Anyways, let's leave those miseries away for a while. Let's talk about those good memories that I came by in this more than ordinary experience that I have had during my stay here in the UAE.

I'm sure your aware of the time when I first stepped into this country. I was kinda cynical about the ways of life here and how I would be able to manage.

It was little known back then of how this country would transform my life. Life kinda turned out to be awesome!

After one year and a few more moths post that, I have now realized how amazing this place has really been.

Trust me, when I first stepped in here, I had no friends, no one to talk to or no one to share my feelings with.

My parents were definitely there but you know how it is. You really cannot express all your feelings to them!.

Getting over all of that, I began putting my life into pieces. This one year has been rather extraordinary.

There has been a lot of things that influenced me and a lot of other things in my life.

I have matured as a human being, I have moved up the corporate ladder in terms of knowledge about the industry and about the 'Engineering" life.

It sure has been a fun ride!. I have made friends, who in reality have made a difference in my outlook to the life here.

I have had a boss who unlike other managers, has supported me, scolded me and most of the time, inspired me into being the person I am today.

I'd love to change a lot of things in my life. But trust me, The UAE experience would be the last thing that I would intend to change!.

If you have ever been to the UAE on a visit visa, looking for a job here, you would probably best understand the feelings that I have been through. From my experience, I think the only other people who would also understand are the people who have known no other land other than the UAE.

The point I'm trying to make here is that this tenure of my life has been more than ordinary.

I have made some wonderful friends here. Friends with whom I have been able to share the most intimate moments of my life without thinking twice about the consequences. Friends who have in reality, gone though more grueling times than me.

Here, life is very tempting to a new comer. You tend to lead a much more luxurious life without knowing that it would have costed a fortune to have lead a life like that.

Just imagine, I'm living in an apartment that costs like 3.5 lacs a yr!!. My roommate drives a car that comes on a rent that costs about 20K a month!.

Seems like a lot of money!. Doesn't it!. Well thats just a taste of how the Dubai life can change you.

Here, I've realized that you can either live the life of a millionaire, driving the costliest cars, or on the other hand, live the life of a miser who thinks twice before paying for a parking ticket and stays around the car for the last 15mins just so that they can avoid that 2 Dirham parking fee!.

Life here is very mesmerizing. I've come across things on a a varied scale of difference. What I have understood after all this time is just one..

Life passes just like that!!

The Change!

Its been a year now. I have slowly but steadily evolved into this new me.

A side of me I never knew existed. It was exciting and at the same time a little scary.

How I had transformed from the guy who loved his life to becoming this person who decided to take responsibility on his shoulders.

In all these months, the one thing I realized was that the credit for this change was not solely mine. There were perhaps more factors that influenced this 'evolution' in me.

It was after a lot of thought that i was able to come with the answers. I realized that working here was a major reason for this change. The outlook of people here was what I was inculcating in me.

The need to save up, the want to live a simple yet healthy life style and the desire to grow in terms of profession were a few of the things that I was beginning to develop.

I guess it would be unfair and un-just for me to not mention the one man who played a major part in this change.

He wasn't my father, not my brother, not a close friend and neither a relative. All that he happened to be was my direct reporting manager.

This one man gave me a whole new perspective to the life here. I'm not sure of what he saw in me or what he conceived of me. But I was sure of one thing. He did see some hope in me!.

To this date he continues to mentor me not only professionally but also personally. Through various examples of people he knew and some of his own, he passed on a few messages that stuck to me like glue.

I still remember the first time I made a goof up at work. This guy was furious. He thought I was some kind of a joker who by accident got his engineering degree.

I remember him asking me to make a report on something that ideally he would have done just to show me who was boss.

I remember sitting in my room with sweaty palms, desperately trying to type out that report in the best possible manner.

The expression on his face when I submitted the report is still as fresh as a photograph in my head.

 He looked at me, read the report, and then asked me to sit down. He then began explaining through one of his own stories on how he had messed up the lives of several other junior engineers when he asked them to write reports like these.

I still remember him saying " Normally I would reject the entire report, make a new one, and keep a few lines written by the junior engineer just to keep his heart. In your case, I can confidently submit this report as it is".

That one sentence was like a turbo boost to my morale. I actually wanted to jump with joy on the achievement.

Change for me was nothing more than the literal meaning. I never cared to see why I should change in the first place. I was happy for who I was.


In-spite of these small morale boosts, I definitely  had trouble changing from the lazy ass I was to someone who understood responsibility and diligence to work.


I have had a lot of up's and down's in this past one year. It has been nothing less than a rough ride on a small boat in the open ocean.


I have been through a stage where my employment was questioned. I have seen a phase where my manager has walked out on me saying that we can never work together. 


What I have understood from these various experiences, is that life has never been, and probably will never be an easy ride. The objective is to face the hurdle, analyse the shortcomings and work a way out.

I'd like to share a very simple statement that my manager made one day while we were searching for something. I being my lazy self, had almost given up the search when he said, " Dhoondega to Milega".

That sentence did hold good for that one instance but what I came to believe was that this sentence applied to everything you do in life! You seek happiness, search for it. You'll find it. You want to be rich, search for richness. You'll find it.

What I believe my manager wanted to convey to me was that if ever you need something in life, you need to need to work for it.

Nothing comes served on a platter. It might happen in a Bollywood movie or in a cartoon, but not in real life.

Another reason for this change that I was accepting was my manager making me realize my own capabilities.

Strengths I never knew I had were been highlighted for me to see. We were discussing some contractual issues one day at work and my boss tells me; " I have seen a lot of regional heads, directors and senior managers goof up when it comes to contracts. You seem to have the knack. work on it and it will do you good"

If your thinking that all is good when my manager says these "sweet" things to me, your mistaken. There was one other thing that he keeps reminding me even now. The attitude.

That's the one thing he has been talking about from day one. He understands where I come from and that I'm new to this field but what he keeps saying is that unless you have the attitude you'll go nowhere.

I happened to share this one slogan from one of my old t-shirts with him and he did agree to it as well. It read; " I do not have an attitude problem, I have The ATTITUDE, you have the problem!"

It might sound strange for most but all along, its been these small things in my life that have actually made a difference.

The pitfalls and hurdles have always taught me something in life; To never give up. The harder you try, the further you go.

I have always been the guy with a million emotions. But experiences like these tend to toughen you up. Not physically of course!, but mentally.

These lessons learnt in my my short tenure here have been life altering. My perspective to life has changed and the need to want more out of life has grown in leaps and bounds.

I might be on a low pay scale, working for a significantly small firm. But the knowledge that I have gained has been enormous.

I did plan on moving out of the job and perhaps out of the country.

But now, I know one thing. Its all gonna change!

A completely new perspective!

It's been almost 8 months since i first set foot into the UAE.

I still remember how I swore to my parents about never coming to this place again especially to work.
I also remember how I realized that coming to the UAE was my only way out for survival.
I also remember how I got all excited about going to foreign land to work!.

The point I'm trying to make here is that in all these years where I had these mixed feelings about the same place, I was unknowingly nurturing this mature side of me into a more sensible human being.

After working here and learning about the way of life in this country, i was also beginning to see life in a whole new perspective.

Its funny how you work in your home country for so many years and not once do you really feel the urgency to take your life on a more serious note and make changes for the better. I guess its the feeling of security and belonging that makes you say things like 'I have time' and 'Ill manage'.

All of a sudden when you step out of that cocoon, you feel so insecure that you almost get desperate. You start worrying about the price of groceries, the number of times you have to re-charge your mobile phone because of the call rates and to make it ridiculous, you even begin worrying about the number times you have to go out for that haircut!.

But like they say, with time, you learn to make those decisions on where to spend, how much to spend and when to spend and the funny thing is, it all comes so naturally. Its like you have been trained for something like this all your life!

Another interesting fact is the multicultural society that exists even in a country so small as this.

As an outsider, the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word UAE is perhaps a picture of a Muslim dominated country where the woman dress in black and men look funny in a white dress with headgear and yes, you cannot miss out on the oil!.

Its when you physically get to this country that you realize how wrong you were about this place. I mean a majority of this is true but a lot stays hidden.

It would be interesting to know that in the UAE, the ratio of nationals to expats is shocking. Its about 20% nationals and 80% expats!.

When you hear that figure, the first thing that comes to your mind is "how in the world did 20% of the population control the 80%?!" That question still remains quite a mystery. What most people have made out of this is that the Arab population had all the money in the world because of their oil but failed to understand how to put it to use and so the expats.

What I believe though is that the Arabs undoubtedly had all the money but instead of being lost in terms of where to spend the dough, they were just being lazy!. I mean, with so much of cash in hand, these guys had access to the best schools, colleges and universities. How then do you assume that they dont have the knowledge.

Its a different fact that more than the educational content, the Arabs were perhaps more interested in getting the certificates to boast about rather than utilizing them coz they had people like us to work for them!/

Another interesting perspective to this whole thing is the bonding that you get to see between the expats.

Back in India, the very mention of a country like Pakistan or the mention of a Pakistani national can literally set the stage for a major debate or perhaps even war!. Here in the UAE, Indians and Pakistani's live in such harmony like nothing ever happened. I mean, I have a Pakistani driver who takes me to work every day!.

All my life Bangladesh was just another country. I come to the UAE and actually see people who are from Bangladesh!. I look rather dumb when i say this but did not have a clue about where the Philippines was!.

I come to the UAE and bang!, I'm surrounded by this rather familiar looking race of people whom we knew or referred to as 'chinkis!'

In addition to all these already mentioned nationalities, you have people from the States, UK, Europe, and the various other Arab countries. All working in unison with one and only one goal; to earn that extra buck.

I have to admit that I have changed a lot as a person after coming to this part of the world. Its perhaps the sense of insecurity and responsibility that forced this change out of someone like me.

I'm not sure of what I am in for in the days,months or years to come. But i know one thing for sure. Its been a complete change in perspective!

What a Life!

It had now been a couple of months since i started work on a valid employement visa. Along with it came the usual running around for my medicals and other formalities that were required to keep my visa valid and permanent.

The one similarity that i noticed in the UAE as compared to India was the government sector. Same old dragging procedures, same old waiting times and the frustration that builds up to get one simple activity done. The big difference here was the bribe business. In India, getting work done in a goverment office means bribing an official. ( I dont mean to be biased here but thats the fact). Here in the UAE one needs to understand that he/she is like a foreigner and will be treated like one no matter what position you hold. If you hold that golden UAE passport and can speak arabic, your work gets done at ten times the pace.

Not withstanding, i continued my duties and eventually everything fell in place. I was now a legal resident of the UAE and so was a little relieved about the entire ordeal.

As the days moved and as i got to understand the culture here, things kind of became a little difficult for me. As a fresher in the industry, my aim was to perform my tasks with complete diligence and hope for the best. There were a few hiccups though;

First of all, i realized things that i would have never known if i were to work in India. Here its all about the "I" game.

As much as one would hate it, you have to play that game if you want to save your skin. Like it or not, you have to let people know what "you" have been doing as how it has helped the organization.

I had a little trouble understanding this and there came a time when my employement was being questioned on the basis that the company did not see any "productive" output from my side.

Though it hit me like a rock, i realized that if i was to keep my job i had to play this game and let people know that i was indeed "working" and not playing around. I had to show everyone that i was taking the initiative and that i was doing a good job.

Thankfully for me, it was not that difficult.!. Coming from a country where these games are played everywhere, its not a difficult ask for someone to put on that disguise!.

With all my will and might i set out to show the organization and everyone concerned that "I" was what they were looking for.

As the days passed, i got some recognition and complaints reduced about my ability to handle the "pressure".  I most certainly enjoyed what i was doing but it definitely took some time to realize what was actually needed to be done on my part.

Its been six months now since i signed my contract with this company. Its not been an easy journey and i know for a fact that it will not be a cake walk in the days to come. But one thing i know for sure, and that is you got to play the game to survive.

Coz here in the UAE, its the survival of the fittest. You may be hated for what you do by the others, but you do gain that recognition and at the end of the day, all you can say to yourself is :

What a life!

Re- Kindling those old memories

I had moved on in life in the search for that perfect future. I had got tired of going with the flow and had decided in my heart to pick up the rows of life and make an effort to move against the tide.

The sudden trip back to Bangalore came as a surprise for sure but what i looked forward to was to re-kindle those great memories that i had buried in my mind when i left for the Gulf.

On my way home from the airport, i couldn't stop thinking of the countless crazy activities that my friends and I indulged in and the ways that we enjoyed every bit of our lives. As i kept playing those memories over and over in my head like a broken record player, i was suddenly interrupted by the driver who told me i had reached my destination. Like a sudden burst of energy, i hopped out of the cab and literally ran up the stairs with all that luggage.

The next few days in Bangalore were spent in repeating all those crazy things that i had done while i lived there. Bar hopping was one of the most favourite and sought after activities that we indulged in almost every other weekend. Only this time it was not a weekend and i had some dough on me to spend!

I had the opportunity to meet up with my old colleagues from work and visit the October Fest which, by the way, is something that his hosted every year in Bangalore under the sponsorship of Mr. Vijay Mallya, the business tycoon and owner of the United Breweries group in India. This is festival where beer is flowing on the house, rock bands and budding artists are playing their thing, and people are generally having a good time.

This also happens to be one of those days when the cops don't stop you for 'Drink and Drive' because the big man has supposedly 'tipped' them off. All said, the day was an awesome experience.

The rest of the days literally flew past and before i knew it i was packing my bags to go to Kerala, my hometown and the place where my grandparents lived.

It was hard to depart from my friends especially when i was seeing them after months together and, was doing  it for the second time.

The stay in Kerala though was a rather pleasant one. I had the chance to eat and fill my stomach with all those lovely granny made dishes and plus to sit around in those huge and well maintained gardens at home to enjoy the autumn sun.

I was in Kerala, when the day i love the most arrived, MY BIRTHDAY!. How i would look forward to this one day in the entire year. I have this strange philosophy; No matter how shitty or bad my year has been, this one day has to be different. It may feel childish but i still love those birthday presents and the birthday bash at home or outside. The only change though over the years is that the birthday parties have moved on from having cakes and home made samosas to tequila shots and discotheques.

The problem here though was that i was in Kerala. I had no friends around and discotheques were kinda hard to find in this city. I had my sister with me and so decided to make the most of it. I rented out a set of wheels and off we went. We visited the one and only mall in Cochin, had a nice lunch, did some shopping and visited the Naval Base, a place where i had spend my high school days.

Like they say, all good things come to an end and so was the case with my little surprise vacation. It was finally time for me to return back and this time work under a valid employment visa. As much as i missed being in India, i actually looked forward to coming back to the UAE.

As i sat at the airport waiting for my flight, i sighted a book shop. i am a Chethan Bhagat fan and so went in to see if i could find his latest book, Revolution 2020. I was lucky to find one of the last copies in the store. As i flipped through the pages and settled down on one of the seats at the airport lounge, i said to myself, One more great story!

Surprise Surprise Surprise!

As the tittle suggests, life in Dubai was turning out to be full of surprises.

I had joined college and was working too. I had thought to myself and repeated the sentence "this is how its going to be for the next two years", in my head countless times. Little did i know that tons of surprises were waiting to pound on me like a bunch of salespersons in a departmental store.

It was after two months of rigorous work and those long trips to college, that i found out that i was still on a visit visa!. The company for some reason had completely ignored the task of issuing me a work visa. The reason was unknown for a while after which i decided to investigate on the matter. I did a little asking around and this is the answer a fellow employee gave me;

"As per the UAE law, every private sector company needs to renew its own business licence. Only once this has been done, can they apply for new visas for any new employee that they happen to recruit."

This short story sounded like Greek and Latin to me for a while and i wondered why this guy told me about the UAE law when my question to him was so simple. It was after a little brainstorming session with myself that i realised the real meaning of that sentence. It meant that the company i was working for had not got its own licence renewed and thats why the delay in getting my visa. That made a lot of sense!

The worry now was, how was i supposed to communicate to my company that they needed to get their licence renewed like immediately coz without that my visa was in jeopardy. I decided to mail my boss asking him for an explanation to why my visa had not yet been issued inspite of me working like a good boy for over two months now.

I drafted the mail and kept hesistating to press the send button as i kept contemplating if it was the right thing to do. I mean how many times have you sent a mail directly to the boss of the company that too asking for an explanation?!. These thoughts kept crossing my mind while i decided to push the button.

The boss was rather quick and calm in his response. He actually took the pains of explaining the situation whilst also assuring me that things would be taken care of. The last line in the mail though was like a pinch. It said, "you concentrate on your work and let the company take care of issues like these". Impressive i thought. The boss knew how exactly he was to convey a message. Shot and sweet yet that pinch of spice.

Before i knew it, i was on the verge of having to return back to India as my visit visa would expire in the next few days.

Things suddenly became frantic in my world. Mails turned to phone calls which were made to every possible head in the company begging them to do something and save my puny ass from going back to India. The idea here was not that I hated going back, the fact rather, was that if i went back, i was doubtful of coming back to the UAE.

Again like a tooth fairy, my boss assusred me that everything would be taken care of and that the company visa renewal was taking longer than usuall and that my visa processing was the next thing on his to-do list after the company issue was resolved. He asked me to go back carefree and enjoy my "break" and that he would have somebody intimate to me once the visa was processed.

Next thing i knew, i was on a plane back to India. The memories of Dubai, the work life, the college..Thoughts suddenly broke when the word college struck...I had forgotten about what would happen to the degree course that i had enrolled for. What would happen to the subjects that i would miss, would my admission to the course be cancelled, will i ever be able to get an MBA?. It was like a sudden panic attack.

These thoughts faded away as I went into a deep slumber. The next thing i heard was the airhostess telling me to put my seat back in the upright position as we were preparing to make the landing.

The strange thing here was that the worries and memories of Dubai and the life that was, suddenly got replaced with excitement and emotions of making it back to my home country. I rushed through the entire immigration and security and before i realised, i was standing at the exit of the Bangalore International Airport Terminal giving a high-five to myself!.

It was five in the morning local time. I quickly signalled a taxi, gave him the address, starpped my self in and began planning out on what i would do in the days to come before i would have to go back on a company work visa.

There were a few things that i analysed on my way back to my room; 1. How long will i be here for? 2. Will i go back? 3. What will i do here?.

Whatever the state, i was going to enjoy every bit of it. All that i said to my self was...WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE!

A brand new start

Well, Ramadan was over, life was back to normal and Dubai seemed to get back to its old self after all that fasting and praying.

I too was preparing for my brand new start. A start to my career in the UAE and also a beginning of what I never thought i would have to go through again, college.

The first day at work was exciting as always. New faces glaring down at you like you were the only humane thing around, your to-be manager walking up to you and introducing himself (like he was the sweetest person alive) and of-course the ultimate boss giving you that look of suspicion in a sense that indirectly asked you how long you were planning to stick on.

Things at work moved peacefully, the burden of work was low giving me that level of comfort during those initial days. I learnt from co-workers that it was not the case to be once i was a full fledged ripe mango ready to be squeezed from the inside to the get the maximum work output.

I very joyfully went through the day arranging my new desk and making sure everything was in place. I definitely did not want to start on a wrong note by screwing up on my first day. Plus the reduced work load actually gave me the time for all this arranging and gearing up.

After office it was now time for me to get to college for my first day. This part i was confident of and carried the 'been there done that' attitude on my way out of home. Little did i know that my energy levels would drop down way below critical on my 2 hour journey to college which included a good brisk 20-25 min walk at 2 in the afternoon, a one hour metro journey and about an hours travel by bus.

I reached the bus stop where i was to get into the first bus that would take me to the metro station. I was already panting like i just ran a marathon, thanks to the lack of exercise in my life. I cleared all that sweat with a wet perfume induced hand towel which my mother had wrapped in a nice plastic air tight bag. She had obviously anticipated this. The bus journey was confusing as i had no clue of the route, no idea where i was to get off and absolutely no idea of how i was to tell the damn driver where i was to get off!. Thanks to the in-bus colour monitor that told you which stop was next and the flashy green button on almost every corner of the bus that you could press to notify the driver that you were getting off at the next stop, i was able to safely get down at the metro station.

The metro ride was more fun. I got into the metro realizing the fact that there was no driver. (How in the world would the metro know how to stop!) Plus to add to the excitement, there were no press-to-stop buttons. I just sat on one of the seats hoping and praying like hell that the metro developers had done a good job in terms of programming this machine on a single rail. There were the occasional announcements in Arabic which made no sense but almost immediately followed by an English translation that told you which stop was next. After a couple of stops i was assured that the programming was just fine as the train very promptly came to a halt at every terminal.

It was after i took another bus from the metro destination and traveled another 20 mins that i finally got off at college. The campus in itself was huge. ( No wonder it was called knowledge village). I had to walk another set of blocks to reach the entrance of my university. Dripping in sweat, i entered the classroom. To my surprise i was the first man in!. Nobody in the vicinity. I wondered if i was in the wrong classroom. I waited for a while, checked my watch a couple of times to make sure it was working but still no one. I walked down to the registration counter and inquired. I was in the right place at the right time. As i walked back i met another student so to say coz he looked as lost as i was during my first day of engineering. This was masters. How old was he?. How long had it been since he saw the face of a university?. I asked myself these questions as i approached him to see if he was in the same class as I. In reality i was just looking for someone to talk with to kill time.

The classes began on a pleasant note with the class getting full with people of different age groups and various nationalities. I was lucky i found a good seat coz soon the class ran out of seats. The remainder of late comers who did not get a seat were offered some temporary seats from the neighboring office.

The subject being taught was Marketing. 'Cake' was the first word that popped in my head as i heard the professor read out the name of the subject along with his. It seemed the professor somehow magically read that word from my mind because the first thing he said after that was " Students this subject should be a cake walk for all you working professionals". He carried on the class explaining how the subject would be nowhere close to a cake walk and how the exam would be tough as hell. He obviously made it look very politically correct but i sensed the reality behind his kind words. Four hours of class finished off with just one tiny break and it was time to go home.

Wondering what exactly was taught, i walked back to the bus stop. The bus arrived, i got in with a sense of sleepiness slowly dawning over me and off we went. The next one and a half hours were spent in looking at the night scenery, the luxurious cars that zoomed past and the people who got in and out of the bus.

I got off at a so called bus stop that was in the middle of nowhere. I wondered if the next bus would even see me. Lucky for me, the bus came almost immediately after and took me home. The last walk back home in the middle of the night was like i was being burdened with some kind of large rock on my head. How i wished i could fly. Dragging my feet through the sand, i managed to reach home. I looked at the time. It was 11:30 pm. I had been out since 2 pm. I wondered how this would go in the days to come.

As i cuddled under the sheets for the night, there was one thing i knew. This would be fun!

Walking into the holy month..

My stay in Dubai so far was a fine experience. Those horrible visions that i had about the life here were slowly beginning to fade away and a more beautiful picture started to take its form.

I had actually begun enjoying my stay and was in reality waiting to take things to the next level of my stay in this country. I have to admit that the sun and the heat were killing my attempts to venture out more often but when i thought about it, if the entire population was surviving under these climatic conditions, i should be able to adapt without problems.

It was not long before the entire GCC (Gulf Countries Council) and rest of the world alike was getting all geared for the holy month of Ramadan. Honestly speaking, i had no clue what i was getting into. After having lived in a country with so many cultures, it felt kinda weird to be surrounded by a clout of people who followed the same religion. Not that i had a problem so far but this holy month started giving me the creeps. Newspapers, television channels and even radio stations were announcing the start of the holy month and with every announcement that i heard, my heart starting beating harder. A sense of nervousness started to set in. I thought to myself. Will i be able to survive this?. Will i unknowingly do something during this month that could land me into trouble?. All these thoughts kept pondering in my mind as the first day of Ramadan finally begun.

The rules were pretty straight forward. No eating, smoking or drinking during the fasting hours. Something so minutely unnoticed as chewing gum in public during the fast hours was also considered a crime and if caught in the act, you could probably be paying a hefty pocket burning fine.

The work hours were cut down for the benefit of those fasting, work timings were changed, working after noon till bout 3pm in the open was strictly prohibited and leaves for those who needed it were being given left right and center.

It was a month were the entire country came to a halt. All that people were concerned about were their prayer times and iftars( a kind of ceremony where people have a feast so as to end the fast for the day which of-course is preceded by a prayer).

Adapting to these basic rules was not so difficult but that fear of unknowingly sipping water or grabbing a bite in public always remained.

While in the grind, i took time to go through the history of Ramadan to try and understand what the entire purpose of this holy month was and why the people took this month so seriously with the fasting and excessive praying.

The facts actually made a lot of sense and following these rules that were laid down was not so difficult to follow after i understood why everyone was going through this strict regime. I did make an attempt to follow the fasting part, but my love for food and the thought of missing a meal during the day took precedence over everything else. I obviously took all precautions before taking out that secret snack i carried in my pocket to quench those sudden bursts of hunger but did try and also avoid overdoing it due to the fear of getting caught in the act.

The month of Ramadan was a fun experience, with people like me praying for life to get back to normal so that we could just eat when we wanted to!. Of-course the work timings and laid back culture during the month was exceptionally fun but it was beginning to get kind of monotonous without any real work coming our way.

The 30 days (29 days this time) were over before i realized. As the month drew to the end, one could feel a sudden sense of celebration in the air. Alas, it was Eid!. Banners came out, people pulled out their new clothes and here i was in the midst of all the mayhem. The night after the last fasting session was all of a sudden filled with some kind of energy and vibes. People all around were in a party mood. Food stalls swung back into action, malls were over crowded and the roads were flooded with cars. One would wonder where all this population was for so many days.

I sure enjoyed the experience and actually am looking forward to the next Ramadan. Till then, Eid Mubarak!.